Present with God: In my Social-Anxiety

"we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus" -Hebrews 10:19

I hate everything about starting conversations. I'm pretty good at keeping them going and participating in them. I can even be charming and funny sometimes. But initiating conversations, even with people I know, is a minefield of anxiety and self-doubt.

I know where it comes from. A low self-esteem and poor self-image conspire to project devastating humiliation and rejection from even the simplest social interactions. But that never really happens. When I push past my fear, the outcome is typically a normal, often pleasant, conversation and I find that all my internal chaos and fear is completely unnecessary. It makes me regret all the fascinating conversations and potential friendships I may have missed due to my total lack of confidence.

That confidence to engage is the picture that the author gives us in this verse. Before Jesus, we would have never had the strength of will to enter into God's presence. We are aware of our sin and God's righteousness. Our guilt and shame remind us that God could rightly condemn us for our pasts of rebellion and failure. But when we place our trust in the sacrifice of Jesus, we can have the assurance that we will not be rejected. Jesus not only deals with our past but invites us into the most intimate places of connection and community with God and himself.

By making our selves mindfully aware of the sacrifice of Jesus, we can accept his invitation to be confidently and boldly present with God. We see now that in God's presence we receive love and acceptance and forgiveness, not rejection and condemnation. We are and always have been the beloved child of God and because of Jesus, we can live constantly and confidently in his holy presence.

Be Present with God

Make some time to be present with God. Reflect on the amazing invitation you have received to be welcomed into the holy places and to be with God. Thank him for the sacrifice of Jesus. Confess when you have allowed your fear of rejection to be larger than God's offer of forgiveness. Ask God to give you the awareness of his welcome and the confidence it brings to stay in his presence. Thank him for the way he has made you aware of his presence during this time.