Present with God: In my Despair

'For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself...But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. ' -2 Corinthians 1:8-9

Despair is the feeling that there is nothing more that you can do to improve the situation...and sometimes that is exactly where God wants you to be.

As Paul reflects on a particularly difficult season of his ministry, he remembers the feeling when he and his fellow missionaries simply gave into the feeling that their future was hopeless. It was at this time that he came to the realization, that the very despair he had been fighting against was the place God was leading him to. Because at the point of our deepest despair, we finalize realize that it is only in God that we can find true hope.

We can navigate our way through most of the dangers and difficulties in our lives. The more comfortable we are the less we tend to rely on God and allow him to participate in our day-to-day lives. It is only when we are faced with a situation that breaks down our facade of control that we truly turn to him. Often the way God woos us is by confounding our little schemes of control and forcing us to see ourselves as ultimately dependant on him and in need of his rescue.

The more resist this truth, the deeper God must go to disrupt our delusions of control and comfort and draw us back to submission to him. By being mindfully present of our total reliance on God, we can see that he is our only hope. We see our constructs of safety and security as illusions and sad imitations of the eternal security he offers. This realization allows us to give over our need for control and to embrace his leading in every aspect of our lives.

Sometimes rock bottom isn't the place where our story ends, it's just the right place to build a new foundation.

Be Present with God

Make some time to be present with God. Put a name on the area of your life that you are feeling a sense of despair. Ask God to reveal to you how he is working in that situation. Confess how you have tried to manipulate and manage the situation and not allow him to work his will in it. Ask God to give you the confidence and trust to give up control and to let him work in that situation. Ask him to give you peace to know that you can trust him with your deepest despair. Thank him for the way he has made you aware of his presence during this time.